Depressed

Teribbly depressed these past days. My heart was so troubled. My head was about to explode. I can't stand the situation anymore. It's trully far away from any bad physical tribulation, it's more like an internal torture. One that seems endless. I feel unable. I feel insecure. I feel worthless. I want to run away. I could only wish that God would take me away from here. Everything is so hard to be understood. So hard.

I felt God in purpose put me in this situaion, but with a bad motive. A really bad one. I couldn't see His hands, I couldn't trust His heart. My life flew away from peace. I am in trouble.

I even did say some terrible things and even curses about myself. I am terribly sorry. I have no clue....

Untill this morning I got this very message..

Am I able, God?

Help me.

"You shall be witnesses to Me . . ." (Acts 1:8). How many of us are willing to spend every bit of our nervous, mental, moral, and spiritual energy for Jesus Christ? That is what God means when He uses the word witness. But it takes time, so be patient with yourself. Why has God left us on the earth? Is it simply to be saved and sanctified? No, it is to be at work in service to Him. Am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for Him? Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone- to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ. My life of service to God is the way I say "thank you" to Him for His inexpressibly wonderful salvation. Remember, it is quite possible for God to set any of us aside if we refuse to be of service to Him- ". . . lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (1 Corinthians 9:27).

Amen.

Kezzy