Hello World

It is October 2026, and I am back here! lol. Three years later. I am feeling really bad now to even start writing.

But here we are, here I am, again.

What has happened in these past three years? Many things.

1. I started my PhD in September 2023 and now as I have finished my fieldwork and about to present my Working in Progress paper in November! I am in my last year (hopefully!) of my PhD! I am currently in the perpetual status of writing, analysis, coding, writing, analysis, coding, breakdown, crying, losing focus and purpose, writing, analysis, breakdown, writing, crying, analysis, and try again. Lol. I hope to present my empirical chapters, and then embark into the last year of writing up my actual whole thesis before then submitting and attending my viva, hopeflly in September 2027.
2. I am happy and content with many things in my life, and without many things and unnecessary headaches in my life too hehehe. Many things are better without, than with. 
3. I built a quite toxic relationship with social media, especially instagram lol, and I feel like I want to retreat from it slowly, as one of my birthday wishes! Yes I just turned thirtysomething (uhuk) on 10 October this year! ;) I start to feel I don't share things meaningfully there an have this weird attachment to it. Stories define my life, ritual, discipline, meaning. Including, who have interacted, or who haven't and I found it to be really dangerous. How is it possible for a picture in squares or rectangles define our lives so much?? I uploaded a lot because I want to share the news with my mom, so I tried to retract it to its original purposes by sharing only with my mom and not interacting much with the rest of instagram. Sorry friends if I don't really interact with you anymore :( I also find myself to be less active in posting in grid, because it requires too much commintment of choosing photos captions etc nd I break down before even starting and let it being abandoned for months, and then blame myself. So, yeah I just want to be liberated from it all, slowly? perhaps.
4. I travel a lot. Like quite a lot. This has also created a love-hate relationship with social media, lol as I took way too many photos and videos, aiming to edit and post them online only to be buried and blamed. Haha. Yeah, what a problem @_@. Nevertheless, I travel. Within the UK, and Europe, and beyond. I travelled to all nordic/scandinavia countries, revisited several western European countries and do it a bit properly (or visiting places I hadn't had the chance to visit): France, Belgium, Swiss, Germany, etc., but also I visited many new central European countries (Austria, Czech, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, etc), and the medditeranian countries! (Greece, Spain, Portugal!). I also visited Turkey two times and I have traveled from east to west, south to north of the country (omg!), and Goergia and Armenia too! I visited Ireland too, and for a conference! What a dream! So, I've been to both Northern Ireland and Ireland :). I've traveled within UK a lot, to the northernmost of Scotland, Shetlands islands lol, and to the isle of skyes, isle of canna, isle of eigg, etc. What a wonderful journey. I've visited Wales several times too. I might plan my travel again, but after my exam seminar, hopefully in the winter. Let's see. I need to save up some money though, so yeah let's see.
5. Beginning of the year, I wrote some of my new year resolutions, and some of them are: winning a competition and attending an academic conference, and I did receive those two, twice! All hapenned in Summer 2026, what a summer indeed. So I won the people's choice award both on the faculty level and university level, and I went to EADI-IOB conference in Belgium and DSA in Dublin, Ireland! Things that I didn't think I was able to do became real in just months. Bizzare and thankful!
6. Meet friends, old and new, along the way. And, I am thankful. Some expected, and mostly unexpected. And, I am thankful for that. Probably three most interesting categories of friendships are: 1) friends i made during conferences. I went with extrovert mode (a bit forced but had no option) and said hi to people first, asked about their reseearch etc., and in reality many also had hoped to be asked or to be reached because they were also a bit lonely and wanted to make friends! One even sent me a voice note thanking me for being open and reaching out to him/them/other people :') Little did they know, I had to hide in my bedroom for hours to recalibrate my interovert souls hahaha, but I love spending time with them so it was not difficult! Crazy, how wonderful time feels when you spend it with the right ones. 2) friend(s) in the PhD room, who celebrated me and my birthday without me asking, like IT WAS BEYOND MY WILDEST expectation. I had planned to celebrate my birthday in lowkey mode, perhaps just eating out or spending time with my flatmates, but well well. They had a different plan. Some asked me about my plans weeks before, and sent out invitation and made schedule and plans for celebrating my birthday omg. I had two cakes (at uni and at home), and some presents. I tried pinata for the first time, and it was fun! This is how it feels to be loved without asking? hahaha. i am thankful. thank you friends and loved ones you know who you are :) 3) friends I met during traveling! some I randomly met while we were watching the sun eclipse together, some during the group trips, some in the walking tours, etc. so yeah. It feels good to meet new people! I might love poeple after all? idk. hihi.
7. I am more active on campus! Joiining students union, contributing to many new things, joining/trying many new societies, joining freshers fair(s) every year i am here with freebies lol, yeah just trying to be more active while I can and while I still have the student status! I also loooove student accommodation, and I am really happy to be back linving on campus on my dream accommodation! Back when I did my master's degree and lived on PV, I always walked past this accom and see how beautiful the buildings are, and how cozy they look like from outside. Back then this accom was only for undergrad, but now as newer flats are built, these ones are becoming the older ones with old facilities so they do open the lease for postgrad as well, and like an answered prayer (I did pray for housing this year with good housemates after a couple of housing dramas) and God answerd it on Focus 2026! I am really happuyyy and thankful. 
8. I try new things. I took music lessons for violin and drum (hahaha), I played Sasando for public at uni (finally), I joined tennis sesions at ActiveUS (yeay my wimbledon rollandgarros usopen dreams hahaha). I went to watch All England in Birmingham toooo. So fun! 
9. I went to Seven Sisters manyyy time, because I lived by the sea and I can see the coaster buses every day from my window and I have my bus pass. So, I decided to go everytime I can. So I've seen seven sisters from every side and corners lol, and many photos are taken. I did my reflections there too, and many have been answered :') even tho I lost my bracelet there too (very sad) but yeah that's life.
10. I lived off campus in three different flats! One with Opa Oma (with the memorable Christmas dinner huhuhu), one by the sea (OMG WHAT A DREAMY VIEW), one near the sea too ( with good facilities kitchen washing machines etc.). They were okay and fulfilling when I needed them. So I am thankful for these opportunities too :) Housing creates a lot of deep reflection in myself. It is not easy, even for me a scholar, with funding, so imagine for those who have mental health and addiciton issues? This helped me understand social protection better and issues of housing and homelessness. Idk i hope this can contribute to my research and people as well?
11. I am emotional and sensitive, including with my research and data. I cried a lot and had to pause a lot during coding as I see this stark differences and heartbreaking realities. Families have children dropped out of school, and here I am getting my third degree. I questioned myself, and the purpose, ask God many times. May He answer me and redirect me with everything. This is still an ongoing process.
12. What else? aa many things I want to write, but first I need to finish my paper lol. I've been unwell these past days with flu-symptom (prob another late wave of Covid but yeah), and it is everyhwere and with everyone. So, I was not too productive, but I am glad I slept and rested a lot. I needed it. So yeah, I want to write something today, after also (finally) cleaned my room and vacummed the floor hahaha. So yeah, let's meet again later!
13. Perhaps the last bit: thank you for loving me! :)

See ya.

Kezzy.